Let Me Reintroduce Myself

I hope you are ready for an adventure 😊 You can expect to laugh, cry, smile, frown, cry again, and then laugh some more.

For anyone who has come across my path within the last 15 years, expect to be surprised.

Until now, I chose the “version” of Joy that I wanted to share with the world. I am now ready to share the other 90% of who I am.

My vision of success has always been to “hit the target.”  I set a goal, and then I “hit the target.” That’s it.  No more. No less. 

I recall setting my very first goal at the age of 5 years old, sitting in front of the television with my legs crossed, watching The Cosby Show.

Thursday nights at 8 pm/EST, I can remember, with great detail, the vision of complete success, that I created in my mind as I watched the Huxtables. 

Throughout my life, I wanted so desperately to succeed in life and to be recognized and valued for my accomplishments that I fixed my attention solely on achieving the goals that I have set for my life – at all costs. 

Much of my life, I've believed that the goal is all that matters because I feared that if I ever took my eyes off the goal that I would fall off my path to “success” and fail miserably in life.

The more focused I was on reaching a specific outcome, the more disconnected I became from my journey. 

I believe that the more fixed you are on a specific outcome, the more likely you are to miss the endless possibilities, surprises, and solutions that may appear right before your eyes.

And even worse, you will reject any and everything that comes along on your path that does not comport with the vision of success that you envisioned in your mind’s eye. 

That’s what I did. I rejected everything!

Any experience that did not come into alignment with my vision of myself as Clair Huxtable - I rejected it.  I just pushed right past it as though it was not my reality.

 I ignored it. I suppressed it.  I hid it.  I pretended that it had no impact on my life.  I did whatever I had to do to keep pushing forward toward my ideal of success.

Yes – I have reached every single goal that I set for myself.  I am a lawyer. I am a mother.  I am financially secure.  I am a homeowner.  Each of these is an achievement that I am incredibly proud of.

 But eventually, I hit a wall - a brick wall. 

And man o’ man has that caused some severe suffering and deep-seated pain in my life that I am only now beginning to confront.

Even after accomplishing all of the incredible goals that I set for myself - I found myself unhappy, angry, resentful, exhausted, and completely burnt out.

I have now come to understand that joy is not found in the destination, but rather in the journey.

When you learn to enjoy the process, you are more likely to find true fulfillment in the outcome.

So here is a question for you –  

Have you embraced your journey?

For me, I wasn’t able to embrace my journey, and it cost me a lot.

So, I would suggest that you not aim at success as the ultimate target.  Instead, dedicate yourself to a cause greater than yourself, and the unintended side effects of that journey will be joy, happiness, and fulfillment. 

As I enter my 41st year on this earth, I am learning to be mindful, reflective, present, and to listen to my authentic voice. 

I have made a conscious shift from “success” as the target to finding purpose, fulfillment, and joy in every moment of my journey.

In this blog, I will use my voice.  I will be authentic.  I will be unapologetic.  I will be imperfect.  I will speak my truth.  I will be transparent about my journey - including the highs, the lows, and everything in between.  

My intention is to inspire you and to give you permission to find the beauty in your journey.

… and so it begins, the journey to finding Joy White